Dear Witch Weekly
by Keiko17
Summary: COMPLETE. JamesxSirius. TwoShot. Dear Witch Weekly, how do I tell my best friend I love him?            Please Review :  I'm looking at doing more like this and would like to know what you think?
1. What Do I Do?

_Yay! Third fanfiction n.n' my friend Zope helps me lots (cookies for Zope). This idea came to me a while ago but I never really worked on it until now when I decided to write it down and detail it out a bit. I have problems with extending things out (you should see my college essays!) but lets see. The good thing about Marauders Era is that you can guess their personalities since we only know vaguely what they were like XD.  
I'm posting other chapters to this story and working on them over Christmas so I hope you enjoy. People-shaped cookies for reviewers, no cookies for flames XD._

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter (only copies of the books…) **

* * *

_Dear Witch Weekly,  
I have a problem, I think I might be gay. I feel so lost.  
He's beauty in wizard form!  
Every time I see him, it's his eyes I look at, craving his arms around me, his hands on me and his lips against mine.  
Whenever I play Quidditch, it's his face I look for in the crowd and his voice I hear, calling my name with the crowds.  
How can something that feels so perfect to me be so wrong to everyone else?  
I watch him flirt with almost ever girl he sees and I know I do it too but when I do it, it's him I see myself flirting with. Sometime, I kid myself that, when he mentions he has spent the night with someone, that it's me who was laying with him.  
Why can't it be me? Can't they see that love is love?  
He won't feel the same, for that I'm sure, but, inside I'm dying.  
Dear Witch Weekly, how do I tell my best friend I'm in love with him?_

James relaxed in front of the fire, spreading out on the crimson carpet and staring at the low flames.  
The hands on his watch turned to 3am as he picked at a stray thread. The common room was empty and when he sighed, it sounded as loud as a game of Exploding Snap.

For over a week, James had had difficulty sleeping and spent most nights in the common room, normally in the same spot in front of the fire, ignoring all suggestions from House Elves of going back to his dormitory ("_So House Elves can make things tidy, Master"_) or trying to sleep ("_Master looks tired and Master needs rest. Sleep would help Sir_") but they had grown accustom to him after a few nights and began bringing mugs of warm drink with them for him, or having general conversations about Hogwarts.  
Tonight though, he had ignored them and they had taken the hint, not engaging James in their usual banter and cleaning the room faster than they usually did, though they took it in turns to check if James had fallen asleep. He heard them leave after only an hour and pulled at the thread.

The portrait, that hung before the door to the common room, swung open and James was about to lift his head to see who it was when he heard the shrill giggle of one of the Fifth year girls, followed by the low murmur of Sirius Black, who was clearly wooing the girl with all the chat up lines he knew (_which James had taught him_).  
She fell for them and allowed Sirius to pull her onto the long sofa which ran along the back wall of the common room.

James remained silent and pressed himself against the floor, desperate not to alert them of his presence. His body jolted as a sudden sob tore through him, though he managed to suppress it, as the sound of their lips furiously meeting reached his ears, and he squeezed his eyes shut, forcing a wayward tear from them down his face, sliding from his nose to the floor.

He felt cold at the sound of material moving and Sirius suggesting they move some place warmer, where they won't be interrupted.  
More tears escaped his eyes and he pressed a hand against his mouth, trying not to let the sobs out. His body jolted again and he curled up, trying to find an easier way of not crying out.

The fifth year must have got cold feet because she made her excuses with a kiss and danced off to her dormitory, pausing on the stairs to blow a kiss at Sirius, who in return merely rolled his eyes and stood up.  
James trembled violently as Sirius approached the fireplace and made to throw himself on one of the chairs.

"Prongs?"

He stared at the curled up figure in disbelief and crouched next to him.  
James turned his face into the carpet, desperate to muffle his sobs and hide his tears from Sirius.

"Merlin's beard! James?"

He laid a hand on James' back and moved it in a jerky fashion, unsure whether it would help or not since he had only seen women do that to crying babies.  
James' body jolted again as a silent sob took over.

"James?"

Sirius settled onto his knees as James began to calm down. James slowly tilted his face to look at Sirius.

"James…"

Sirius' voice had become an unnatural whisper as he stared at his best friend, taking in the puffy skin that surrounded his hazel eyes and the desperate expression dominating them.  
Another tear fell down James' face as he sat upright, bringing his knees under his chin and biting his thumb, refusing to look at Sirius any longer.

"Mm sorry."

"Why?"

"Jussam"

"I didn't catch that. James! Will you please look at me! I feel as though I've done something wrong!" Sirius cupped James' face in his hands and pulled it up, forcing eye contact between them.

"Padfoot….I'm a fool." James blushed and smiled weakly.

"Lily again?"

"No."

"No?"

"No." James hiccupped and tried to pull away but Sirius wouldn't let him.

"So, what's wrong?"

"Me." His voice broke. "I'm wrong, I'm all wrong."

Sirius stared, confused.

"My father, he sent me a letter. I got it this morning. He kept talking about how he has met this witch and how she wanted her daughter to marry someone who was Pure-Blood and father said how I would be perfect for her and how we'd be continuing the bloodlines and that I'd make him proud. He…he doesn't understand!"

The words poured out so fast Sirius could only blink. James felt more tears slid down his face and closed his eyes.

"What doesn't he understand?"

James hiccupped again and pulled Sirius' hands from his face, not letting go of them.

"I don't like girls."

"Oh?"

"I … I think I love…" James opened his eyes and bit his lip.

"I think I'm in love with you."

* * *

_YAY! Finished! It's getting there; I can extend on things if i try…kinda… So … cookies for reviews n.n! and apologies for spelling mistakes!  
I had a major accident typing this out! ToT !! I finished the whole thing on an old laptop and I hit the power cable!!! The laptop died!!! Luckily it got recovered sweatdrop  
COOKIES!_


	2. Perfect

_So, second chapter. I wrote this chapter over the course of several days (and one or two sleepless nights, I've been so worried about exams ToT) and I've attempted to make it longer than the first chapter, just to catch the emotion really.  
Yeah, I'm going to hush and let you read XD.  
Reviews and constructive criticism is always welcome as I aim to improve! _

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Harry Potter (I can't find a copy of DH in my house anywhere! –sob-)**

* * *

_Dear Witch Weekly,  
It feels so stupid writing this down but He said it helped him, so here goes.  
I knew I was different when I was growing up, I preferred to hang around with boys and while everyone else was chasing this girl around the streets claiming to love her, I enjoyed being with guys who I was with. When they were talking about that first crush and first kiss with girls, I was sneaking off behind the trees in the park with my neighbour's twin brother.  
We didn't do much, just holding hands and the odd kiss (we were young for Merlins beard!!), but he was my first boyfriend.  
Then, when I came to Hogwarts I didn't speak of my past. I hid it from everyone, thinking it was weird, that I was weird.  
Then I saw Him from across the Great Hall, his eyes are what hit me first, and oh Merlin they were so deep and expressive, like a blob of amber had been spun into them.  
After we became friends and began to grow up (but not mature, never mature) I began to notice how much his eyes expressed, and how much I wanted to look into them whilst holding him.  
Instead, I hid it, hid what I felt, hid what I was.  
Dating girl after girl just to hide my sexuality, Ugh! I never realised how much of a coward I was!  
Even though I spent my time with girls held between my arms (and my legs), it was the curtains around his bed that I'd pull apart, just enough to watch him sleep. The messy black hair, that I kept picturing myself running my hands through, falling into that beautiful face and those elegant lips pursing every time he breathed out.  
Every time though, I let the curtains fall back in place and turn around, damnit why couldn't I tell him how I felt?! I could chase any girl but not the guy I wanted, not the guy I loved._

_Today, he held my hands as he told me he loved me._

_Dear Witch Weekly, what do you do when life is perfect?_

"You…you do?"

Sirius glanced about the common-room, half expecting to find people hiding behind the assorted chairs, hidden under the tables even, ready to laugh if he responded to what James had said.

"Don't joke about this Prongs." The corner of his mouth twitched into a nervous smile.

"I'm not joking." James looked him straight in the eyes, blood beading on his lips from where he had bitten down, and squeezed Sirius' hands.

"Promise me you're not joking." Sirius swallowed, trying to regain some control over his voice as it dropped to a cracked whisper. He couldn't help but not believe what he was hearing, after all these years, James loved him just as much as he loved James.

James moved closer, his face now centimetres away from Sirius', and every breath he took, Sirius felt on his own face, and every exhale tickled his lips, his heart coming dangerously close to exploding with how rapidly it was beating.

"I promise, Padfoot, I'm not joking…"

Sirius could do nothing but lean forward and hungrily press his lips onto James', tasting the blood that had broken to the surface, and lace his fingers between the fingers that held his own, caressing each part of the skin he could.

"Hold me and don't ever let go." James pressed himself as close to Sirius as he could, his eyes searching Sirius' face in fear of a sign or rejection, that this was his way of saying "I'm Sorry James, I Don't Feel The Same".

He hiccupped again, causing several tears to fall. This time, Sirius tenderly kissed his cheeks where the tears feel, his mouth filled with the taste of James, blood and salty tears.

"No more tears Prongs."

The words were a mere whisper but James heard them, and with their cheeks pressed together and he began to sob, winding one hand carefully at the back of Sirius' neck and the other around his waist, pressing his face into the crook of Sirius' neck, breathing in the wild smell that always clung to Sirius.  
His eyes closed and he could feel as Sirius mirrored his actions, closing his eyes, resting his head gently on James' shoulder and running his fingertips against James' spine in a soothing manner, gently feeling every bump in his back underneath the thin robes that clung to his back and absently caressing them.

"I'm sorry Padfoot, I can't stop crying." James pulled back from the embrace and smiled wearily at Sirius, wiping his eyes, which were now positively shining with relief.

"It's ok to cry sometimes." Sirius used his thumb to wipe a tear that James had missed and smiled in return.

"Why is it?"

"Well, why are you crying?"

James looked away from Sirius, his blush thankfully hidden by the low light coming from the fire.

"Because you didn't reject me…"

Sirius took James's face gently by the chin and pulled it for the second time that night, again, forcing eye contact.

No words passed between them. Just a moment in time which neither wanted to end, where dark meets light, black eyes meeting with amber eyes and in the silence, James knew how Sirius felt, even if he didn't have to say it, James knew.  
James knew in the way he smiled gently before kissing him tenderly, their lips meeting gently and moving in rhythm with each other, as though they belonged together, like two pieces of a jigsaw.

James knew in the way that he had held him close, their bodies pressing together in one perfect motion.

James knew when Sirius whispered promises of never letting go.

* * *

_I can never go past 900 ish words! Though I think if I attempt to extend this out any more, it may ruin it. My friend Zope deserves lots of cookies because she had to listen to me constantly talking about re-drafting and re-writing parts.  
Anyway, Thanks for reading n.n and I hope you enjoyed (and are planning to review) it.  
I'm planning more for JamesxSirius but just not with this story lol._


End file.
